I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
