You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
