this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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