at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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