worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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