I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Randomize
