Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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