whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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