And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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