Quick, to the slutcave!
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
