I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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