A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize