Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
