Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize