Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize