Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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