she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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