I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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