Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
