Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
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