I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
