I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
