peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
