You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
