On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
