this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
