i jhust puked up my retainher.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
