Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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