His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
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