Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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