sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
