You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
