I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I just want nice things and good sex
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
