Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
