don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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