i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
my vag is so smooth its legendary
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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