Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
