I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
