I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
