she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
