Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
