and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
pray to the hookup gods
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
