when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
