i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
