wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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