you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize