good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
