I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
