Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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