IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
