She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Randomize
