I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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