Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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