Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
