and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
