I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
