I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
