At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
