I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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