I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
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