my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
